January 21st. We are already twenty-one days into the new year. I pray it has been an abundant blessing to you already!
 
The first few weeks of the year for me has been blessings mixed with expected challenges.
 
January 1st was set aside to embark on the year with prayer, thanksgiving and a unity in spirit of where God would like to go this year.
 
January 3rd my health made its way to the front line – again. However, resolve to walk with God closely wherever He leads moved me to not become distracted.
 
January 4th joined in unity with others to pray for our community and future opportunities to unite around the purpose of prayer and worship. God reinforced He is MOVING!
 
January 5th I was caught in the whirlwind of a battle not mine to fight, a place where healing was prayed to be the outcome. It became a moment for Him to step in, I to intercede, for the sake of health in His Body.
 
January 6th I could not ignore it any longer. God needed me to have a conversation; a difficult, but necessary heart to heart. My voice trembled, the tears flowed, but so did compassion and healing! Oh give praises to the King of My Heart!
 
January 7th God surprises me with an opportunity to hang out with a dear Sister in Christ AND connect with other creative, like-minded women! What a GOOD GOD WE LOVE!
 
January 9th I find myself on the bathroom floor during my break at work, crying to God for others. Arrested hearts know no place unacceptable to intercede when He calls them to it.
 
January 11th Travel to Tennessee with a new friend, better said Sister in Christ – God’s presence accompanying us the entire way; my how time flies when Jesus is at the center. The Lord continued to speak to my heart and share His vision for what’s to come. It. Is. Exciting.
 
January 14th & 15th Knocked on my butt. Just like the enemy, he seemed to sweep in and ATTEMPT to steal from me the deposits of God in my soul. No doubt, sabotage was on his mind, as the January Beyond event was just a couple days away. BUT GOD! He shared very clearly with me the heart of the message for the gathering, one that stopped me in my tracks and reinforced the necessity for each and every one of us to ENSURE we are reading and hearing the Word of God.
 
January 16th it’s time to GO. I had this sense before the beginning of the year. However, a meeting at work confirmed, I will in fact be going. Serving others, sharing stories, and engaging many for the purpose of providing care to the underserved all around the world. That evening? Confirmation among others His vision in our “corner” of the world. Woot woot! Go God!
 
January 17th Plans and preparation for a medical mission meeting coupled with plans and preparation for the January Beyond gathering? God, thank You for moving through and entrusting with what matters to YOU!
 
January 18th God near instantly provided answered prayer to the concerns of several. Clearly pointing to His Word the TRUTH and heart of the matter. Again, PRAYER, attention and sensitivity to His Spirit the components to ensuring moving forward would be honoring to Him and loving towards others.

January 19th School of His Presence conference enthralls me with the Lord’s heart. Confirmation after confirmation of what the Lord has placed on my heart to share with others, and encourage them to pursue in THEIR lives. Sheer giddiness at the thought of a GREAT AND MIGHTY GOD.
 
January 20th Nearing the end of a committed season of fasting, God calls me into the Secret Place. The place where He shares His heart, after confirming – AGAIN – through my pastor at Times Square Church, His presence is where we can be with Him, and He makes us like Him. The place He desires each and every one of us long to be.
 
Today? Today I continue to be amazed at how He pours out His love and somehow causes us to only see His vision on the horizon. Though there may be mountains and challenges designed to distract us, He prepares us to move beyond them, call them to move, RISE above them, and GO. He is a way maker to the soul willing to make a way for Him – in all places, seasons and circumstances.
 
Friend, if this is just the first twenty-one days of the year, can you imagine what the next 344 will be like?! I can try, but I have a sense what He is going to do is FAR BEYOND ANYTHING I CAN IMAGINE OR THINK POSSIBLE! My prayer is you see He has this for YOU as well.​

I was obsessed with being thinner because I had so many folks telling me how big I was, fat, my stretch marks disgusting and if I could get paid to eat I would, because I loved food.

Words spoken led to my mental illness?
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Who knows? I don't care.

I stand here today, seven months from forty, knowing WHY I see who I see, although in my mind I'm not her.

In my mind, I'm someone strong. I've chosen to not fixate and obsess on a number, be it weight, BMI, body fat percentage or the like. I've chosen not to measure my worth by the size of my pants. I've chosen not to ground my identity in my appearance.

Rather, I've chosen God. I chose to fixate on the countless number of Scripture telling me I am God's and who HE says I am. I have chosen to measure my worth according to what His written and spoken word says about me. I have decided my only identity is found in Him.

According to Him, I am His beloved. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a teacher of His Word. I am an encourager to others. I am a facilitator of healing that flows from Him. In Him, I am light and love. My weight, size and shape do not impact who He says I am.

166 lbs 8 oz. The heaviest I have been in years. My weight had to be captured when today's four month post surgery lumpectomy (which resulted in an ever present hematoma needing follow-up) revealed a couple more spots in need of assessment. Gosh!! Did it HAVE to be right after Christmas break?! I'm fluffy people ;)
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Have I let myself go? No, I've let God. I have allowed Him to firmly root me in love, His Word, and His truths.

Do I advocate being at an unhealthy, disease fostering, weight? No. I advocate holistic health in spirit, soul and body. I advocate being a physically healthy vessel of God, able to serve, go and minister wherever He may call one to go, at any capacity He may call to do so.

Conversations with the Lord lately have revealed a release to again become more healthy (beyond my weight and these lumps, I am fit as a fiddle!), build muscle again, lean down again, return to an optimal BMI and body fat percentage (for me), again.

He has spoken to my heart, experimenting with Beyond and allowing others to witness my transformation will support the theory: balancing the seven areas DOES reflect Christ - causing others to SEE His transformative power, be amazed and place their trust in Him as well! Also, with a couple medical mission trips on the horizon, He needs me to be physically well and fit, in order to serve others well.

For now? One day, one step at a time. The next step is ensuring my body is healthy and without disease. After that, the Lord will continue to lead me in the areas of nutrition, fitness and rest, while maintaining my relationship with Him and His call on my life as first priority.

Ladies, you are WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE. Be encouraged to get into His Word and see what He has to say about you and His love for you. Let your self go and LET GOD.

Blessings!